Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life (Proverbs 4:23).
Have you ever heard of the term “boundary busters”? This term conjures up the image of “relationships” and, rightly so. Boundaries are about establishing certain rules geared towards preventing others (the boundary busters) from taking advantage of, or using you. Chances are that as a Christian (or no matter who you are), you may know some people who don’t and won’t take “No!” for an answer. Such people are also boundary busters because they don’t have any respect or concern for other people’s feelings, needs or personhood.
It is said that we need four types of boundaries: three are deemed inner boundaries as they deal with the mental, emotional, and spiritual while the fourth, the physical boundary, is considered an outer or external boundary.
Anyway, boundaries are necessary, healthy and positive so lacking any leads to both unwanted and negative results. Christians, in relationship to God are like children. And children need boundaries. Children who have no boundaries placed and enforced in their lives most often become wayward and a disgrace to their families. How many times have you not heard people say that children want boundaries to make them feel safe? Healthy boundaries (which also implies the existence of unhealthy ones) are needed in order to protect the individual from all kinds of toxic people including, people who seek to control and manipulate others, from abusive people to con artists, from abusers who masquerade as “brothers and sisters in the Lord” but who really are wolves in sheep’s clothing and who use us for their own ends, and so on.
As a result, we that there are varying degrees of boundary busters but let us look at just two major and all encompassing ways of breaking such people. The first is having external boundaries. These are needed to protect our physical well-being. Nobody has a right to come into our space, get into our face, or touch us without our permission. The second, internal boundaries should protect our feelings and spiritual growth and shape how we communicate outwardly. Nobody can upset us, hurt our feelings, make us afraid, or angry without our permission. Remember David facing Goliath. Goliath could not intimidate him. Neither should anybody make you feel guilty or ashamed because you are a Christian, Romans 1:16.
As basic as one can be, a boundary is a property line. And as a property line, it defines where one’s property ends and where the neighbour’s begins. So if you own an immovable property, right away, you are the one who has control over it, and the one who can be held responsible for whatever goes on there. TBC.
Proposed prayer: “Heavenly Father, You know my innermost parts and nothing is hidden from you. Please help me to follow Your instructions in Your Word and teach me to respect other people’s boundaries. Holy Spirit, help me take responsibility for all my behaviours. Thank You for hearing and answering my prayer, in Jesus’ name. Amen.”